1. |
Fondue For Two
02:46
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Ask your mom
Ask your dad
They’re gonna tell you all the fun that they had
Ask your brother
Ask your wife
They’re gonna tell you it’s the time of your life
Take some cheese
Take some wine
Find a pot to heat and start to combine
Add some nutmeg
Garlic’s good
Now you’re ready to dip in some bread
We’re having fondue for two
Fondue for two
It’s the best you ever knew
You’re having fondue for two
Got a simple
Yet refined
Informal get together on my mind
Use a fountain
Use an urn
Use proper caution so you don’t get burned
Cincinnati
New Rochelle
I got some recipes to ring your bell
Bring a healthy
Appetite
And ingredients to last all night
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2. |
Orlando Or Lando
03:14
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Don’t need no Buf Puf Single with Fostex
I’m breakin’ out the Nynex to fill up my Rolodex
(Hangin’ solo?)
No man, I’m bee-linin’ to the queen of the roller rink
Like it’s Riverside and I’m on the Cyclone
(Woah!)
Shift Manager says “turn your keys in”
It’s like tryin’ to reason with Buddy Hinton and the
Snack Shop fiend
He’ll get the Mongoose cleaned
Rolly got a little
Rolly got a little
Rolly got a little loan
Where’s Annalisa? Anybody seen Brie?
(She was kickin’ bricks off the corner of that Dunkin D)
Really!? While I’m hikin’ the median strip on Rte. 9 E??
Oh (Oh) C’mon (C’mon)
Everybody just gonna play jai alai like it’s the Miami Vice theme?
Well anyhow I’m sure we shook them
Shysters on the green
When we split that scene
Rolly got a little
Rolly got a little
Rolly got a little loan
You want lost and found? (Ask around)
Saw you headin’ southbound (Come on down)
You gonna kiss the ground? (Not in this town)
You gotta hover!
Orlando or Lando
Jed Stott
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3. |
The Riff
04:28
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Tryin’ out a Fender Twin
I had my Les Paul plugged in
My brother BB, he was there
I played a thing with triplets
BB said “Hey that was cool.
Can you play that again?”
And so I did and he said “Dude,
You should write a song with that.”
But I don’t know if there’s a song for the riff
Tried it in mixolydian
And then a minor version
BB filmed it with his phone
Sent it to our buddy, Taz
Taz texted back a curt message
With only one word, “garbage”
He might be trollin’ but still right
Some riffs weren’t meant to see the light
And I don’t know if there’s a song for the riff
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4. |
My Speculoos
02:52
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It’s been a long, long day I’m heading home
I spent the afternoon out on the road
Boss was yelling, screaming in my ear
You’ve got to meet sales forecasts for the year
But when I get back home I open up my eyes
I reach for bread and then I shun the curly fries
Just a minute now to crispen up the snack
Melting butter and I add a sweet attack
My Speculoos
At the same stoplight since six o’clock
The color’s changing but the traffic’s stopped
I GPS the closest Trader Joe’s
And hit the breakdown lane cause green means go
When I get there I run past the sample trays
I scan the aisles ’til my eyes begin to glaze
A sign says “out of stock” I can’t hold back my shriek
The grocery clerk says it might be another week for
My Speculoos
Did you look in the back?
Just double-check
I need it
(Come on boys and girls, now listen everybody
Do you love rock and roll or have you left the party?)
When life’s a dodge ball pegging me between the eyes
I give myself this one participation prize
I’m gonna stock the fallout shelter in my yard
With just a spoon and six or seven hundred jars of
My Speculoos
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5. |
She Threw The Legos Away
04:06
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Oh, are you ready?
Gonna tell you ‘bout this woman
Gonna verbally process some unresolved feelings
First step toward a constructive conversation
She was productive all mornin’ long
The Good Will pile was risin’ by the cellar door
Clearin’ the high shelves, affixin’ labels
You know she likes to keep those bins up off the floor
And she said
“Come inspect my progress” as she pulled back her hair
Poured myself an OJ, followed her down the stairs
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
Well I looked in the cabinets
My head went hot
She leaned back smiling with one foot against the wall
I said “Where are the legos?”
She said “Did you still want those?
I took them to the transfer station in DePaul.”
And I said
“Well okay I just thought I guess um no that’s cool
Think I’ll head out back and maybe clean out the pool”
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
I mean, all I’m saying...
I mean you put those things on Ebay
You could get a lot
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
She threw the legos away
And now I’m rockin’ out
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6. |
Sneak Attack
01:39
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Rail slides outside of the DQ
Ollies high over the curbs
Took the boom box, adjusted the EQ
Then outta nowhere, came the greasy scourge
Of the burbs
Like a freight train
In the middle lane
I was a blood stain
Sneak Attack!
Makin’ dirt bike skids on the driveway
Poppin’ wheelies on Coolia’s lawn
We took the woods onto the highway
The ground was shakin’ baby
She was headin’ straight on
With her throng
Like a freight train
In the middle lane
I was a blood stain
Sneak Attack!
Close your eyes
Block your ears
Run and hide
Heed your fears
Penny rides
Neil’s not near
Nigh she flies
Now she’s here
She got the shears!
It was a freight train
In the middle lane
I was a blood stain
It was a Sneak Attack!
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7. |
Not Those Trolls
02:58
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(transcribed from improvised lyrics)
So I went on a… on my birthday
Walkin’ down the street to see some guys
And I notice over all the commotion
Two guys comin’ down the place
And I…
(Rain in the fire’s on your shoal)
And all over all my cause
(Night of the shadows was your lawn)
And I don’t know first for certain
(And the certain times are gone)
Will I get out of this night
(Get out of this night now)
Only ninjas can fight these guys
Only ninjas can fight these guys
They’re not the trolls from last week
Only ninjas can fight these guys
Only ninjas can fight these guys
Only ninjas can fight these guys
They aren’t the trolls from last week
Only ninjas can fight these guys
So I went down to the parking lot
And I saw four more other guys
They came at me from all corners
Jumpin’ over all the things
And I saw now they were a-runnin’
(When in the lies your shoes are fie)
And I saw like five more guys
(Tough guys are walkin’ for the wall)
And I didn’t know for certain
(And the winter’s fire will call)
If this fight was gonna fly
(Time for the higher show now)
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8. |
Combo Plate #1
04:57
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Lonely Friday evening
Roaming Fun and Games
A glow air hockey table
Spoke my name
Suddenly a vision
Reflected in the puck
A doorway in the ceiling
Opened up
Voices from above
Sang “Hey, son”
You gotta drive back to Rudy’s
Before the day is done, for a
Combo Plate #1
(Drive back to Rudy’s)
For a little fun
And a Combo Plate # 1
Woke up Saturday morning
Drove up to your town
There was nothing for me to do there
But circle around
Played your Donovan mixtape
Gave myself the blues
Pulled into the left lane
Set the cruise
Knew just what to do
To forget you
Said I’m gonna drive back to Rudy’s
Get a table in the sun, and a
Combo Plate #1
(Drive back to Rudy’s)
For a little fun
And a Combo Plate # 1
Side of queso
Dos Equis please
A las tres I’ll order me another one of these
Gotta drive back to Rudy’s
Before the day is done
For a Combo Plate # 1
Get yourself, get yourself that platter
Nothin’ else, nothin’ else gonna matter
Order up one combination platter tonight
You can kneel if your life is broken
You can steal if you’ve spent your tokens
But this deal, it’s for real
I understand about whatever you feel
But c’mon down to Somerville
Maybe we can split the bill
If you drive back to Rudy’s
Before the day is done
For a Combo Plate #1
(Drive back to Rudy’s)
For a little fun
And a Combo Plate #1
Uno es triste
Dos es mejor
No digas que hemos terminado mi amor
Just drive back to Rudy’s
You’re the only one (I’d let sample my)
Combo Plate #1
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9. |
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Loggin’ out of the digital jabber
Pluggin’ in to your Crybaby Wah
Your Marshall head, you gotta rehab her
Your Rickenbacker needs a humbucker but
You gotta rock like Galaga Dude
Riffin’ on a minor scale
Swiggin’ on a Mountain Dew
Triggerin’ a primal wail
It’s still alright to rock ‘n’ roll
I got my wheels out, I’m rockin’ the lows
It’s still alright to rock ‘n’ roll
Go rock ‘n roll, get your soul from the fires of old
You’re hittin’ 278 in your ‘70 big block
Cowl induction kickin’ in on the hood
‘Til you slam on the brakes for Laguardia gridlock
Just roll the window down and crank up Johnny B. Goode
Cause ya gotta rock like Canada Sue
Chuggin’ down a shamrock shake
You got about 22 seconds ‘til an instrumental groove
So better make your Motorola quake
It’s still alright to rock ‘n roll
It’s still alright to rock ‘n roll
You got the right to rock ‘n roll
It’s only right to rock ‘n roll
Go rock ‘n roll, get your soul from the fires
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10. |
Cantilever
03:07
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Cantilever
In the shadows of fields unknown
Cool deceiver
With your Squire and Epiphone
Misconceiver
Cantilever
In Geneva tonight
You go and wreck your head in the fire zone
Goin’ up down turn around upon your throne
And when you feel like you left your right
And dream about it every night
Cantilever all alone
Sunny Gummi
That’s what I’m callin’ you from now on
Your Jolt Rummy
Got you singin’ your own theme song
I find it funny
Sunny Gummi
Yeah I think it’s funny tonight
You go and wreck your head in the fire zone
Goin’ up down turn around upon your throne
And when you feel like you left your right
And dream about it every night
Cantilever all alone
On the skyrail of your mind
To the fever in your heart
Cantilever when you fall apart, fall apart
Fall apart, fall apart, I got a crane
Glory winner
Always making your high score up
Story thinner
Than the lid of a Hoodsie Cup
Record spinner
Glory winner
Play beginner tonight
You go and wreck your head in the fire zone
(Drop, shimmy along to Top Jimmy)
Goin’ up down turn around upon your throne
And when you feel like you left your right
And dream about it every night
Cantilever all alone
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11. |
Thanksgiving 2014
02:57
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Took a walk
With Sallie Mae
She told ya sonny you got bills to pay, you said
You would if you could, but you won’t cause you can’t stop rockin’
Your mom says cool it but you can’t stop rockin’ tonight
Shine your groove
Shine your groove
Shine your groove
Refine your groove
Shine your groove
Redefine your groove
Shine your groove
Realign your groove
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12. |
Feels Like Rock 'N' Roll
03:43
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I got a feelin’
Yeah a feelin’, (It’s kinda)
Hard to describe
I stare up at the ceilin’
Everything starts reelin’
Like it’s MTV in ‘85
(I start singin’)
On the street, people lookin’ for somethin’ real
Everybody yeah rock yeah somethin’ wheel
From the rebel kids dancin’ in the dark
To the old folks romancin’ in the park
Never doin’ what they’re told
The record needle’s in the groove, and so’s this town
And every fume that I’m breathin’ and every sound
Feels like rock ‘n’ roll
Out in the city
It ain’t pretty
You gotta watch out for life
So I’m hittin’ the highway
Goin’ my way
Straight across the bridge to Chorus Drive
(Where choirs of hair bands sing)
You gotta run when you’re facin’ the loaded gun
But the battle’s never won ‘til you reach the midnight sun
All you saints and sinners on down the line
All you paints and thinners such as turpentine
Rock’s the shelf which will you hold
Cause I turn on the radio and hear a crappy song
Some loser rippin’ off Skynyrd and Zevon but tonight
It feels like rock ‘n’ roll
Jackhammer like a solo on the drums
Heartburn resulting from some wings I ate for lunch
Like a fire in my soul
Whatever it is I think I see
Becomes a spinnin’ LP to me, even that tree
Feels like rock ‘n’ roll
You need to read but your heart it starts to bleed
And then it speeds like a steed that you must heed
When the rhythm takes control
Jayne feels the pain and she’s runnin’ in the rain
She’s insane but our love is not in vain
Cause tonight, it feels like rock ‘n’ roll
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13. |
Dutch Connection
02:47
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I think my cousin
Roomed with him
Junior year at Calvin
His father pastored
That church in Glenn
Where we went to Chuck and Lisa’s wedding, yeah
A Dutch connection
A Dutch connection
Everyone remembers on further reflection
Dutch Connection
A Dutch Connection
Everybody’s pretty sure that they remember that guy
Remember Biertsma’s daughter Brit?
Worked at Culver Christian
Didn’t she date him for a bit?
Must have been ‘07 or ‘08 or around then
A Dutch connection
A Dutch connection
Everyone remembers on further reflection
Dutch Connection
A Dutch Connection
Everybody’s pretty sure that they remember that guy
Coast to coast, Lynden to Whitinsville
Folks are vaguely remembering a guy named Phil
As he comes up in conversation briefly at the table
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14. |
The Last Sugar Toast
05:08
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Light fades
Evening is caving in
I feel the pangs
Of losses resurfacing
The emptiness looms like a duck that has lost its quack
I stare in the face of a post-twilight hunger attack
Looking through the fridge
Looking through the pantry to find myself
There is a space in the freezer with no gallon on the shelf
Gone is the brand that could reach out and love me most
So I open a packet and raise up the last sugar toast
Church Street is still
Ahead I can see the spot
I pass Dolphin 2
And cross through the parking lot
Through the glass the suggestion box still hanging on the wall
Of an emptied out storefront in Town Plaza Shopping Mall
Looking through the fridge
Looking through the pantry to find myself
There is a space in the freezer with no gallon on the shelf
Gone is the brand that could reach out and love me most
So I open a packet and raise up the last sugar toast
Where is Hank?
Is Crystal really gone?
Who will come to get my order wrong?
Looking through the fridge
Looking through the pantry to find myself
There is a space in the freezer with no gallon on the shelf
Gone is the brand that could reach out and love me most
So I open a packet and raise up the last sugar toast
Fishamajig
Jim Dandy sundae
I wish you well
I would accept any flavor to pair with my Magic Shell
Your franchise still haunts this intersection like a ghost
Goodbye to Friendly’s
Here I stand raising my last sugar toast
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15. |
Moving Up To H-B-A
03:07
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Another early morning agony
Got a shift from 8:00am to 3:00
But today is different than the rest
I’m moving up to the big leagues now
My situation’s been redressed
Time to get my goggles on
Time to plan when I’ll be gone
Time to train the new guy, Ron
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
No more bagging to stand in my way
No more coupons to ruin my day
I’m moving up to H-B-A
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
Now I’m whipping hang tags down the aisle
Stocking Degree and Mitchum for a while
I’ve got a pricing gun for Colgate on the shelf
Get out of my way, it’s a brand new day
I’m like a freaking H-B-A elf
Time to get my goggles on
Time to plan when I’ll be gone
Time to train the new guy, Ron
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
No more bagging to stand in my way
No more coupons to ruin my day
I’m moving up to H-B-A
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
Time to get my goggles on
Time to plan when I’ll be gone
Time to train the new guy, Ron
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
No more bagging to stand in my way
No more coupons to ruin my day
I’m moving up to H-B-A
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
Time to make this job foregone
Time to tell the cashiers so long
Time to sing this farewell song
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
No more work for minimum pay
No more working New Year’s day
Hello to H-B-A
I’m finally gettin’ outta here
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The 2 Twangs Southborough, Massachusetts
The 2 Twangs are Reich Neffcopp and Morter Farmbo. Their newest album Mongoose features a more adrenalized collection of
songs than we’ve heard from the duo since they first pressed “record” on the boombox in Morter’s basement 30 years ago.
Check out The 2 Twangs youtube channel to hear more of their music. Subscribe to receive updates as they add previous albums and new videos.
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